All I Ever Wanted To Be
I can’t remember ever not wanting to be a Mom or really wanting to do anything else; I’m sure that’s mostly because I had an amazing role model in my own mom. While other little girls were pretending to be princesses, I was caring for my dolls and stuffed animals. After my mom died, Dad told me I’d existed before I was born because Mom was thinking about me, her future daughter, when they met at 17. That made sense to me because I’d been planning and thinking about being a mom pretty much always.
My three little birds* did not disappoint. Each brought their own wacky sense of self and strong personality and, honestly, it was just plain fun parenting and loving them. Sure, being a mom is hard too (like really hard sometimes), and now that they’re all grown and flown, I can reflect back on really difficult moments blended in with the craziness and laughter and love, but I wouldn’t go back and change a thing. Those difficult moments not only helped my kids grow, but they helped me grow.
I started young. When all my friends were heading to graduate school or starting careers while partying in clubs and at music festivals, I was covered in baby food (and worse), listening to Barney the Dinosaur and Raffi’s Baby Beluga… on repeat. I didn’t really discover the popular music of the late 80s and early 90s until my oldest became old enough to not want to listen to “baby music.” Sure, I missed out on Tupac and Nirvana — and Seinfeld (I was watching Sesame Street and Blues Clues), but I didn’t miss it. Not for a second because I was having too much fun finger painting and getting kisses and hugs and “Wuvoos’’ and snuggles and “weasel weasels.”
My little birds are all grown up now (well mostly), and I couldn’t be prouder of the adult humans they are. Brave. Creative. Funny. Caring. Open-Minded. Kind.
I know I can sit here today writing this, knowing I’m beyond lucky to have had my amazing mom and healthy and happy kids. And, I’m so grateful for it all.
Happy Mother’s Day if you celebrate! Big hugs if today is complicated!
*I’m a big Bob Marley Fan :)
